I'm not in Essex Girl

So I guess when we're not giving treatments to the rich and 'not so famous', we are partying.  I didn't think anyone could party harder than my friends back in Essex but my God do the lot I work with party.  I feel like I am 81 not 21!  I can't keep up.  Amy would be so ashamed of me, speaking of Amy she hasn't returned any of my calls for at least two weeks.  I have even tried to facebook her, nothing, from what I can see she has updated her statuses a few times though...


Any way life on the ship is okay! I am starting to feel more and more at home, it feels like a little family now! 
I started with the paragraph about the partying because something happened last night.  I know I said I was totally in love with Max (even though he doesn't know it) but I ended up sat in the corner night spot with Noah, I don't know if I have mentioned Noah before? he is something to do with the captain, we all call it Noah's ark, not so funny when you're not doing flaming sambuka's...  To be honest I have never noticed him in a ooo you're a hottie type of way.


Well me and Noah got talking, he told me how his Dad used to do drugs and that is how he ended up working on a ship because he just wanted to get away, he told me how his Mum had left home when he was little because of his Dad's drinking and drug abuse and it hit a nerve, it reminded me of my Mum.  He opened up to me and I just see a new light to him, we have so much in common and I just wanted to scoop him up in my arms and tell him I get what he has gone through, but I couldn't bring myself to talk about my Mum.  He then kissed me.  I was so shocked, I wasn't expecting it at all, I haven't kissed anyone since Jay.  At first I thought oh God but then I realised how much I miss having someone to kiss and snuggle with, I realised how perfect he was for me it felt like the hole Jay had left had finally begun to fill up, it felt like the hole my Mum had left in me started to warm up again.  I've never gone in to much detail about my Mum with you as to me my Dad is my Mum and Dad, but I wasn't even aware of the pain she had left in me until Noah opened up to me.


So.... the kissing wasn't exactly discreet, I think everyone knows about it including Max, felt a bit of a thrill that he'd actually noticed me...  I really don't know what to do, I am now head over heels about two men and on a ship you can't really escape them to try and even get your thoughts straight in your head....


help!

Drama on board!

OMG crazy last few weeks! I am so sorry that I haven't had a chance to blog but I did say that I could only blog when I was in a port, which at last I am! woo

So what to tell you about, so much has gone on.  I might as well start with me and tell you about Max, remember the magician?

I think I am in love, seriously, It's mad I've known him for less than a month and I just can't bare the thought of life without him, which is O SOOOO stalkerish considering we aren't going out, in fact I don't think he even knows I exsist as 'girlfriend material', he is 31, how bad is that, 10 years older than me, he hasn't ever been married though hasn't had any kids, isn't gay... HE IS SO LOVELY! perfect in fact.  Sexy too.

I really don't want to ruin a friendship though, and after Jay I want to steer clear of men forever, well for longer than I have anyway. WHAT A PICKLE! but then I remember, we're not going out and instead of being in a big love pickle I just get upset...

I am really lonely to be honest, I miss home so much, my sister, my dad, my friends, even my mum and as I've mentioned before we don't really see eye to eye, in fact I haven't set eyes on her since I was 18, but I'm not going to get in to that now, what else has been happening? Well I met the spa manager, SUPER BITCH, but to be honest I haven't had the brunt of her yet, she takes it out on the other beauticians especially poor Harry... We think she had a crush on him, which is understandable he is 6ft of pure gorgeousness, but we think he may be gay... he hasn't actually told us, in fact I have a feeling he swings both ways, but it's not something you can really ask,is it? Just got to wait for more clues I guess... but yes, she asked him back to her cabin, SHE'S 42!!!!!!!!!!!! COUGAR ALERT!!!!! he basically said no and ever since she's been sending him daggers, giving him impossible tasks etc, poor guy!  I wish I could do more for him, but as he is spa assistant as well there isn't much I can do...

Hmm what else, other than me missing home and falling for a 31 year old that only sees me as a friend not much else has gone on for me, the rest of the crew members however, well put it this way, who needs EastEnders....

Keira is a lovely girl but really need to stop hooking up with our clients, I have had a word with her which was one of the hardest thing i've had to do, she apologised and said sorry if she had been giving off a 'slutty' impression she would try and be more discreet about it next time...  Wasn't quite where I wanted it to end, but I guess it was progress of some sort!

as for Mrs Fraizers hubby, he's only sleeping with Lillie the chef and she's only got a bun in the oven which is 50% his (no pun intended!)

I am defo keeping my head down for now, never knew so much drama could happen in one little cruise ship!

Anyway I better I go, I am going shopping with Lexi, her dad is the owner of some American department store so I am taking advantage of her contacts ;)

Hope you're all ok!

New friends

So I met the other beauticians last night, they seem lovely, they are called Keira, Lexi, Rosaleigh and Harry.  YES Harry is a boy!

I think it's great we have a male member in our team, he's 18 and this is his first full time salon based job.  Keira is the same age as me and Lexi is a year older at 22, Rosaleigh is 29 but looks about 15!  I think Rosaleigh's a bit mad that I'm manager and not her because she's had more experience, I hope she doesn't think I'm treading on her toes...

Met a couple more of the crew staff last night too.  Max the entertainer and Lillie who is the head chef.  All lovely people thank god!

Max is a trained magician and he's really good, I don't know how he does those tricks! (I guess that's part of the magic though) he he

Anyway, today we are being allowed in to the treatment room and spa to check it out and sort it all out for our first day.  I still haven't met the spa manager yet.  Quite scared as everyone seems ok so far... Has to be one bad apple...

Better go, didn't realise the time!

Ahoy captain

I am on the ship!

I haven't actually done any work yet, we are supposed to just get settled in to our rooms for this week.

My room is AMAZING!

It is hardly a room and more like an apartment! :) Great big double bed, comfy sofa, small but cute kitchen and the most fantastic shower ever, it's HUGE! I'm in heaven!

I don't think I even mentioned that I was bringing Sophie with me? I was so happy when they said it would be ok as long as she stayed in my room.  They even bought her a little rabbit hutch well more like a castle hehe! LOVE IT!

I am on email for now, but they did mention wifi only works when we are in the ports... eek!!!!

I miss everyone already :(

anyway I'm off out to a staff lunch now to meet everyone, wish me luck! I hope they like me...

Bon Voyage!

Hello,


Sorry again, I could have documented this time of my life a little bit more at this point in time as it would of made great reading but a few days isn't much to move out and leave!


Telling my Dad was one of the scariest things I have ever done but he was so cool about it and said he was so proud! Teegan was great about it to and told me to follow my dreams but avoid all men! hehe, Becky didn't take it very well at all.  Said by law I had to give her 1 months notice, which is a load of crap, it's just being considerate not law, and if I could have I would have...


but yes! I set off this evening, Jay found out, I'm guessing through Jadeann he text me saying good luck, which I guess was nice, by his standards anyway!


I'm just off out for an early dinner with Amy, Chloe, Jadeann my dad and Teegan to say a proper good bye :(


Weather is FABULOUS at the mo and I decided on this little number!

I got this pic off of the website, the colour in person is so much brighter, as soon as I unpack my camera I will show you it properly.  It's from New Look! love it!


Hope  you're all ok!

Beautiful briny sea

Hiya,

I think I've spoke about Mrs Fraizer before? the woman with piles that fidgits? well she told me that her husband was currently recruiting for staff on a new line of cruise ships, and they needed qualified beauty therapists.  She told me I'd be perfect for the position and that she would put a good word in for me so I'd defo get the job.

I would have to leave home, but the money would be so much better, which will help me look after my Dad far more comfortably than now... and as for the experience...

I couldn't help but say yes.

Mrs F gave me her husbands number and I called him on my lunch break.

A dry, calm voice answered, I chatted away as I do, far too much for my own good at times, he was nice enough. 

'Would you be happy if I put you up for the position of Manager?'

'Head Therapist?' I squealed with a bit too much excitement.

'I don't see why not? unless you don't think you can handle the responsiblity, you will be in charge of 8 therapists and all of the health and beauty sides of the business, I don't know anything about it so I will be relying on you.'

I was blown away, Head Therapist, I didn't expect to get that high up until I was at least 30 and that was a push! I said yes and he told me that the ship would be setting sail this June, that didn't leave me much time to resign at Beautiful with Becky but that was the least of my worries, Head Therapist WAHAY!!!

Now all I have to do is tell my Dad and Tee.  It is all I've ever wanted they will understand.

Wow and to think just a few months ago all I could think about was Jay, I would of said no because of him.

OMG 'Head Therapist!

now to tell Becky...

Less drama, more me!

Hello!

I am so sorry that I haven't blogged for so long... I got back from Egypt which turned out to be an alright holiday after all the drama!

Jadeann finally admitted that Jay was an arse and that she shouldn't let our relationship ending get in the way of our friendship.

So now that's all sorted I feel a million times better, losing a friend hurts so much more than losing a boyfriend, you don't realise until it happens, but I am so happy it's sorted!

I haven't really gone into detail about my home life on this blog, so I may as well try and get you to understand my complicated family a bit now, as it will help explain why I am so busy and unable to blog!

 I live with my little sister Teegan and my Dad.  I do see my Mum but not much, I am sure I'll go into detail about that in the future as it needs a blog in its self!

I love my Dad loads and he has brought me and Tee up all by himself, he is the bravest man I know and always puts us first, however... I am 21 now and I did really, really want to move out.  I spoke to Tee about it, she just cried and said I couldn't leave her and Dad, I then realised that my Dad sacrafised so much for us when we were growing up and I owe it to him to look after him now I am in the position to.

I am so busy with work at the mo.  I am saving up to get my Dad's garage refurbished so he can use it for his work space, Tee is doing her paper round as well (bless her) but yes this is why I am major busy and don't have the time to blog as much!

To  be honest I couldn't explain his line of work to you, he sort of makes things out of nothing, very clever man, a carpenter with a difference! his workshop space is actually being knocked down soon to build flats so that is why we are trying to convert the garage! - Once we've saved up enough for the material my Dad will build it all so that saves on the labouring! - It is times like this I wish I was still with Jay as we haven't got any electric in the garage... Still, there's more than one electrician in Essex! (Preferably not Tangerine Queens Dad though!!)

I will try catch up soon, I'm sorry I've neglected you for so long!!!!!

Closure

... As I walked along the beach with Jay I couldn't help but notice the strong smell of his after shave over powering the scent of the ocean air.  I remembered how only a few months back the scent would drive me wild, now all I wanted to do was throw up, it reminded me of betrayal and heart break.

I had a million and one questions for him; maybe this was why I was being so calm.

I needed closure.

'Babe, I'm so happy we're back together, I was a dick, that girl meant nothing to me, I was just interested in a job with her Dad, you know, he is the top dog of that Company I have been trying to get into, you know, Essex Electricity? give me a kiss babe.'

I looked at him in horror, 'Jay, we are not BACK TOGETHER,'

'Then why are you walking with me? You know you want me back, I'm the best thing that's ever happened to you, not like you've had anyone since you see me and Angelina that night,'

Omg, he defo got it right when he called himself a dick, he however got the 'I was' wrong, because he STILL WAS.

'Jay, what the hell? you spring upon me on MY girls holiday, I don't care if this Angelina or whatever her name is was Alan Sugars daughter, you cheated on me, you left me heartbroken, YOU LEFT ME, and no, I haven't been with anyone since you, but even if I had been with someone it wouldn't be any of your business!'

Jay looked at me and shook his head, 'Your loss babe, you know, we could of been good,'

The anger bubbled up inside me...

 'you know, you know, you know'

I could see how thick he was, I was seeing him in a different light completely, I wasn't heartbroken, I was relieved!

'Do me a favour and leave me alone, I want to enjoy the rest of my holiday without your dopey mug,'

For the first time I see Jay look slightly hurt...  I felt bad, but then I reminded myself what a dick he was. He walked away, and just like that all the pain and emotion I'd been carrying melted away, I was over him and it felt so bloody good!

As soon as Jay was out of site I headed back to the hotel, Amy and Jadeann seemed to be getting on a bit better, they both looked at me as I came in, Jadeann looked hopeful whilst Amy looked pissed.

'We're over, and that's for sure,' I said with a smile that neither of them expected.

Girly holiday.. I think not!

The phrase 'WORST HOLIDAY EVER' is not even touching how I am feeling right now.

Chloe has gone home and Jadeann's surprise was certainly a surprise...

We're all sitting there at this restaurant that we got 20% off at through Thomson holidays, there I was enjoying cocktail happy hour when Jadeann tells me to shut my eyes.  She span me around, 'Jadeann I am dizzy, what the hell is it?'

'Open them! look!!'

OMG. 

how could she think this was a nice surprise? on a girl holiday? OUR GIRL HOLIDAY? after everything I'd been through since February?

'Hey babe, looking good with your tan, I've missed you, like, loads.' My heart registered the lazy tone of his voice before my heart registered his face.  It was Jay.

I couldn't believe it! I wanted to go punch him, kick him in the balls, scream, shout, but all I could do was say a weak 'hi.'  What the hell was wrong with me?

Amy piped in, 'Jay what the f*ck are you doing here? go away, you're the last person Gabby wants to see right now! Jadeann you stupid, stupid bitch!'

Jay stepped closer to me, I could smell his aftershave, he touched my bare shoulder as Jadeann stood up.

'Stupid Bitch? how? Amy, why are you even getting involved?' Jadeann shouted over the table while glaring at Amy.

'I think me and Gabby want to know why YOU'RE getting involved!'

I just sat there, sat there like a scared, pathetic little puppy.

'I don't see Gabby shouting and screaming like you Amy,' Jadeann said in a sarcastic tone.  Amy looked at me, I looked at her, I was numb with shock, I shook my head, 'Amy it's fine, look just give me 2 minutes with him,'

Why did I say that? I did not want 2 minutes with him?! my head was saying GABBY WALK AWAY, but my feet and mouth weren't letting me.

Amy huffed and muffled the word idiot under her breath, I mouthed sorry to her before she walked off with Jadeann, I could hear them still arguing.

I looked up at Jay.  He was smiling at me and said 'Lets go for a walk down the beach, I know this great spot' ....

3's a crowd...

Hello from a not so happy holiday!

We made it to the airport on time, Jadeann was ridiculously late, as per, then Chloe and 'Stu Stu' nearly made us miss check in due to playing an intense game of tonsil tennis, we made it... JUST.

I can't believe how hyper I was at that time in the morning, I also can't believe Amy was making me drink fizzy wine! Such an alcoholic...

The drinking soon stopped though as Chloe had a panic attack.  All respect to her, I've had them many times before, but this one was over not seing her boyfriend Stuart for a week.  As much as I love her, a girly holiday is a girly holiday and she needs to get a life, they've only been together 3 months, well if you asked her 3 months, 8 days and 18 hours.  She had to have an oxygen mask and everything because she felt so faint... DRAMA QUEEN!

This is why I like being single.

So yeah, we have been here for a little over 24 hours and we've already lost someone.  No Amy didn't run off with the pool guy like Magaluf last year, this time it was Chloe.  She flew home!

Couldn't be apart from her boyfriend! We were all putting our EGYPT 2011 t-shirts on and I swear her phone had gone off 100 times in the space of 5 mins. (Stuart I'm guessing) Then she just said, I'm sorry girls but I have to go, my Dad's booked me on the next flight out of here.

GREAT!  so now it's just me, Amy and Jadeann.  It's not too bad I guess but you know what they say, 3's a crowd.

I guess the holiday so far isn't a complete disaster.  I have a good tan already, much better than the other girls, and definatley a lot better than Chloe he he.

So yeah tonight we are off out for dinner, not sure where but we are going to make it a good one! Jadeann says she has a suprise for me, so we'll just have to wait and see!

missing you Chloe!

Egypt here we come!!!

At last! my last week of work is over! it only lasted 3 days but it dragged soooo much...

Woop woop, I am going Egypt tomorrow with the wonderful Amy, Chloe and Jadeann! I am so disorganised I still haven't even packed and my flight is 5 in the morning so that leaves me  less than 12 hours to pack my case, sleep and get to the airport, really should of took today off work!

I'm a bit worried about going with Jadeann to be honest, she is Jay's cousin.  I've known her for years but it's been a little bit awkward since we broke up.  Amy hates Jay, it seems more than I do and I'm scared we'll get drunk and bitch about him which will obviously upset Jadeann, the last thing we need is an argument to break out! Chloe is ok but I don't know if she'll last the week without her precious 'Stu Stu'.  Without sounding like a total cow, I've never seen a couple so... close? it's a tad gross but what ever, she is going to have to cope without him!

So here I am letting Jay get in the way again! Me and Jadeann where friends way before him so I am not going to let it get in the way!

So now I'm left to decide what bikini's to pack...  I am going to take 3 pairs, normally I'd take 7 but I just couldn't afford it this year, here are the ones I have picked, all fresh from LaSenza :) ...

If only I looked as good as her in them!

I haven't even picked what sunglasses or beach bag yet...

I guess you'll be wanting to see some pics of the hotel we're staying at. I will have to load some from the internet as I haven't been before!

Are you jealous :P ?

Anyway less blogging more packing! I promise I will use the hotel's wifi and let you know what's going on the moment I get sunburnt!

A few weeks on...

Hiya,


I haven't blogged for a few days; I needed time to get my head around everything.  It has taken longer than I would have wanted but I think I'm getting there!


I totally told myself I was not allowed to think about him, and my God it's hard work but I am defo, defo getting there!


Teegan has been such a shoulder these last few weeks, bless her, I can't wait until she's old enough to date boys, I am going to make sure she doesn't get messed around by idiots like JAY ARCHER!


So I was at work yesterday, painting Mrs Fraziers nails, I always hate doing her nails she twitches like she’s got piles (it wouldn't surprise me if she did) I am so happy I haven't had the pleasure of giving her a Brazilian...  before I get carried away in a bitch fest lets go back to yesterday, I was painting Mrs F's nails trying to keep it as neat as possible, when I heard the salon door swing open with a great big thud, I looked round to see what the commotion was all about as did Mrs Frazier knocking over the acetone.  Well done! Mrs F, all over me, why punching clients is not legal I don't know... but looking like i'd wet myself was the least of my worries, the commotion was effin' Tangerine Queen.


'So I haven't got an appointment but my boyfriend told me this is the place to come if you want cheap, average service, he said it wasn't the best place but it's a recession and like, I can't afford the best, I'm sure you can scrub me up ok while the pennies are tight, so who is going to treat me, I need an emergency manicure, I ain't got all day!'


Dumbstruck I sat there, was she for real? Becky (the other Salon Therapist) ran over to her and told her to take a seat, Tangerine Queen looked over at me, 'Babe you might want to clean that up, looks like you've pissed yourself ha ha, bless,' she rolled her eyes then looked back at Becky and mumbled quite loudly, 'I hope you're more professional than her!'


I could feel myself shaking, I couldn't tell if it was anger or just because I'd blocked her and Jay out of so long, I don't know how I did it but I got up, cleaned the acetone and carried on with Mrs F's manicure, Mrs F leaned in to me 'If it makes you feel better I think you're much better than Becky, she told me she couldn't give me a bikini wax last month due to medical reasons after I filled out the before treatment sheet, now that's unprofessional, she is not a doctor!' I smiled, even though every emotion inside me was fighting against it, 'Thank you mrs Fraizer'.


I'm quite proud of myself really; I don't think I could have reacted so calmly if it would have happened earlier on this month.  Does life get any better? Because I’m not feeling it right now...

Deep breaths!

I fixed my phone it's a little bit dented but works; Not even a missed call from Jay, what a waste of a year.  When I broke up with my last boyfriend I mopped around for days, not this time! Good riddence to bad rubbish I say.


Feeling pretty crappy with myself but what ever. Just going to look forward to Egypt with my girl friends now, he would of bugged me the whole time I was there anyway, texting me and running up my bill!


Funny how I was so wound up yesterday and yet feel like a weights been lifted off my shoulders today? who was I kidding, engaged at 21! I have my whole life ahead of me!


Just logged in to facebook.  Looks like the douche has changed his status to it's complicated. LAUGH OUT LOUD, Complicated, how about OVER?!!!!! - you cheating bastard! unless he means complicated with Tangerine Queen, she must of left half her orange face on his precious bed sheets or something...


Think this is going to take some time.......

Tangerine queen I hate you!

I did something really stupid last night.

Not only did I find out vodka and Mc nuggets don't mix, I drove to The Bluebell with Amy... I see Jay there with some tango faced fake bitch, in the same effin' seats we sat in Valentine's day 2010.

How dare he? I have never felt humiliation like it; my heart was actually in my throat.  I’d like to say I was really cool about it, but no, I went in there and asked how his stupid man flu was.  Not even sure how I got in and to his table, stupid idiot nearly choked on his Pumpkin Chorizo Risotto, absolute loser! ‘It’s not what it looks like babe, she’s a client,’

Jay’s an effin’ electrician, client my arse!

She just sat there like the fat gormless tangerine queen she looked and then after about 10 minutes of him babbling his ‘it’s not what it looks like’ shit, she effin’ stood up and asked him to call her?! 'CALL ME!' Why I didn’t rip her hair out there and then I don’t know.

So barred from Bluebell’s as well now, who actually gets barred from there?

Words cannot describe what I feel like, my stupid white dress is covered in black mascara and I’ve smashed up my special edition phone, I have work later as well... my life is a joke! I thought he loved me, I was talking to Amy and my little sister Teegan about bridesmaid dresses only last week! I don't get it he bought me Sophie for Christmas? if that's not showing commitment what is?

and as for tangerine queen what the hell? she is nothing on me, sure I ain't the prettiest girl in the world but she looked so ORANGE, yes I fake bake but not 10 times over all at once, how could she go with my man and be so calm about it, if I EVER see her! 'Call me' BITCH!!!!!!

Amy just kept saying he's a waster and I'd find someone new soon enough, I don't want someone new I want Jay!

Feel like such a mug right now, screw work later, I'm phoning in sick, Mrs Harris can have someone else give her a stupid bikini wax... and I've just realised I have no phone so I can't call in sick.

rghhh!

So confused...

So I rang Jay and asked him what he was doing tonight as the anticipation was killing me...


I wish I hadn't now because he was really off with me and said he wasn't feeling all that.  I asked if he wanted me to come over and he said he didn't want me to catch anything so to go out with my best friend Amy instead of worrying about him.


Should I just go round?


Omg I have spent all day looking forward to tonight, that'll teach me to go snooping down his phone.  I wonder if he has cancelled dinner at The Bluebell? prosponed the proposal? He would have planned this for so long, man flu or not it's not hard to take some lemsip!


I spoke to Amy she's coming round in a bit, I don't get what's going on and I feel like kicking myself for getting all carried away in my head thinking tonight was going to be the night.  I effin' fakebaked for it! Still I can't be mad if he is ill right? but then I think LEMSIP!


Oh, something doesn't seem right... Anyway Amy is outside, just tooted me, her car is amazing all pink inside and smells of those Chinese flowers that look like rubber!


Lets hope Amy can make me feel better, she'll probably take me McDonald's... good old McDonald's = and extra 2 spin classes hmm  thoseQuarter pounders are totally worth it though.

I'm all ready and have hours to go!

hehehe


I am all ready for Jay's proposal meal!


Got my fakebake done as well as my eyelash extensions! Going to look fab with my bride inspired outfit tonight.


I would recommend my Beauty therapist to anyone! check her out on facebook, Hayley Fakebake!


Got a wicked set of OPI Axxium soak-off gels done too! LOVE them, will have to add pics next time as I am going to do my hair got to look fab for tonight.


bit worried Jay hasn't text me about tonight yet, he's cutting it a bit fine! Boys will be boys!


Love Gabby Dean soon to be Mrs Gabby Archer xxxxx

Tonight is the night!

Today is the first time in a long while I have woke up in a great mood. I hate mornings. but I'm super happy because tonights the night, my boyfriend, Jay is going to propose to me! he has booked a table for two at The Bluebell in Chigwell tonight, how romantic! not quite Eiffell tower but as long as he wants me forever who cares where?


I only know that he booked the restaurant because I looked at his phone, shh! I am so excited, it has to be tonight right? he hasn't told me about it yet but I guess that's all part of the romance! He knows I like to look great as well so it's lucky I am secretly planning ahead!


My outfit is ready, I've picked white just like a bride, how dramatic! it's a long flowwy dress I got from Topshop, I think I see Cheryl Cole in one last week in New magazine.

I think its perfect, now all I need is a fakebake and my false eyelashes topped up, that way when my eyes all well up form tears of happiness they'll sparkle more, nice little contrast against the darkness of my lashes, here goes the rest of the best of my life! can't wait to upload a picture of the ring, I know it is going to be totally amazing Jay has a good eye for things like this! oh I am such a lucky, lucky girl!

wish me luck!