Closure

... As I walked along the beach with Jay I couldn't help but notice the strong smell of his after shave over powering the scent of the ocean air.  I remembered how only a few months back the scent would drive me wild, now all I wanted to do was throw up, it reminded me of betrayal and heart break.

I had a million and one questions for him; maybe this was why I was being so calm.

I needed closure.

'Babe, I'm so happy we're back together, I was a dick, that girl meant nothing to me, I was just interested in a job with her Dad, you know, he is the top dog of that Company I have been trying to get into, you know, Essex Electricity? give me a kiss babe.'

I looked at him in horror, 'Jay, we are not BACK TOGETHER,'

'Then why are you walking with me? You know you want me back, I'm the best thing that's ever happened to you, not like you've had anyone since you see me and Angelina that night,'

Omg, he defo got it right when he called himself a dick, he however got the 'I was' wrong, because he STILL WAS.

'Jay, what the hell? you spring upon me on MY girls holiday, I don't care if this Angelina or whatever her name is was Alan Sugars daughter, you cheated on me, you left me heartbroken, YOU LEFT ME, and no, I haven't been with anyone since you, but even if I had been with someone it wouldn't be any of your business!'

Jay looked at me and shook his head, 'Your loss babe, you know, we could of been good,'

The anger bubbled up inside me...

 'you know, you know, you know'

I could see how thick he was, I was seeing him in a different light completely, I wasn't heartbroken, I was relieved!

'Do me a favour and leave me alone, I want to enjoy the rest of my holiday without your dopey mug,'

For the first time I see Jay look slightly hurt...  I felt bad, but then I reminded myself what a dick he was. He walked away, and just like that all the pain and emotion I'd been carrying melted away, I was over him and it felt so bloody good!

As soon as Jay was out of site I headed back to the hotel, Amy and Jadeann seemed to be getting on a bit better, they both looked at me as I came in, Jadeann looked hopeful whilst Amy looked pissed.

'We're over, and that's for sure,' I said with a smile that neither of them expected.

Girly holiday.. I think not!

The phrase 'WORST HOLIDAY EVER' is not even touching how I am feeling right now.

Chloe has gone home and Jadeann's surprise was certainly a surprise...

We're all sitting there at this restaurant that we got 20% off at through Thomson holidays, there I was enjoying cocktail happy hour when Jadeann tells me to shut my eyes.  She span me around, 'Jadeann I am dizzy, what the hell is it?'

'Open them! look!!'

OMG. 

how could she think this was a nice surprise? on a girl holiday? OUR GIRL HOLIDAY? after everything I'd been through since February?

'Hey babe, looking good with your tan, I've missed you, like, loads.' My heart registered the lazy tone of his voice before my heart registered his face.  It was Jay.

I couldn't believe it! I wanted to go punch him, kick him in the balls, scream, shout, but all I could do was say a weak 'hi.'  What the hell was wrong with me?

Amy piped in, 'Jay what the f*ck are you doing here? go away, you're the last person Gabby wants to see right now! Jadeann you stupid, stupid bitch!'

Jay stepped closer to me, I could smell his aftershave, he touched my bare shoulder as Jadeann stood up.

'Stupid Bitch? how? Amy, why are you even getting involved?' Jadeann shouted over the table while glaring at Amy.

'I think me and Gabby want to know why YOU'RE getting involved!'

I just sat there, sat there like a scared, pathetic little puppy.

'I don't see Gabby shouting and screaming like you Amy,' Jadeann said in a sarcastic tone.  Amy looked at me, I looked at her, I was numb with shock, I shook my head, 'Amy it's fine, look just give me 2 minutes with him,'

Why did I say that? I did not want 2 minutes with him?! my head was saying GABBY WALK AWAY, but my feet and mouth weren't letting me.

Amy huffed and muffled the word idiot under her breath, I mouthed sorry to her before she walked off with Jadeann, I could hear them still arguing.

I looked up at Jay.  He was smiling at me and said 'Lets go for a walk down the beach, I know this great spot' ....

3's a crowd...

Hello from a not so happy holiday!

We made it to the airport on time, Jadeann was ridiculously late, as per, then Chloe and 'Stu Stu' nearly made us miss check in due to playing an intense game of tonsil tennis, we made it... JUST.

I can't believe how hyper I was at that time in the morning, I also can't believe Amy was making me drink fizzy wine! Such an alcoholic...

The drinking soon stopped though as Chloe had a panic attack.  All respect to her, I've had them many times before, but this one was over not seing her boyfriend Stuart for a week.  As much as I love her, a girly holiday is a girly holiday and she needs to get a life, they've only been together 3 months, well if you asked her 3 months, 8 days and 18 hours.  She had to have an oxygen mask and everything because she felt so faint... DRAMA QUEEN!

This is why I like being single.

So yeah, we have been here for a little over 24 hours and we've already lost someone.  No Amy didn't run off with the pool guy like Magaluf last year, this time it was Chloe.  She flew home!

Couldn't be apart from her boyfriend! We were all putting our EGYPT 2011 t-shirts on and I swear her phone had gone off 100 times in the space of 5 mins. (Stuart I'm guessing) Then she just said, I'm sorry girls but I have to go, my Dad's booked me on the next flight out of here.

GREAT!  so now it's just me, Amy and Jadeann.  It's not too bad I guess but you know what they say, 3's a crowd.

I guess the holiday so far isn't a complete disaster.  I have a good tan already, much better than the other girls, and definatley a lot better than Chloe he he.

So yeah tonight we are off out for dinner, not sure where but we are going to make it a good one! Jadeann says she has a suprise for me, so we'll just have to wait and see!

missing you Chloe!

Egypt here we come!!!

At last! my last week of work is over! it only lasted 3 days but it dragged soooo much...

Woop woop, I am going Egypt tomorrow with the wonderful Amy, Chloe and Jadeann! I am so disorganised I still haven't even packed and my flight is 5 in the morning so that leaves me  less than 12 hours to pack my case, sleep and get to the airport, really should of took today off work!

I'm a bit worried about going with Jadeann to be honest, she is Jay's cousin.  I've known her for years but it's been a little bit awkward since we broke up.  Amy hates Jay, it seems more than I do and I'm scared we'll get drunk and bitch about him which will obviously upset Jadeann, the last thing we need is an argument to break out! Chloe is ok but I don't know if she'll last the week without her precious 'Stu Stu'.  Without sounding like a total cow, I've never seen a couple so... close? it's a tad gross but what ever, she is going to have to cope without him!

So here I am letting Jay get in the way again! Me and Jadeann where friends way before him so I am not going to let it get in the way!

So now I'm left to decide what bikini's to pack...  I am going to take 3 pairs, normally I'd take 7 but I just couldn't afford it this year, here are the ones I have picked, all fresh from LaSenza :) ...

If only I looked as good as her in them!

I haven't even picked what sunglasses or beach bag yet...

I guess you'll be wanting to see some pics of the hotel we're staying at. I will have to load some from the internet as I haven't been before!

Are you jealous :P ?

Anyway less blogging more packing! I promise I will use the hotel's wifi and let you know what's going on the moment I get sunburnt!