I'm not in Essex Girl

So I guess when we're not giving treatments to the rich and 'not so famous', we are partying.  I didn't think anyone could party harder than my friends back in Essex but my God do the lot I work with party.  I feel like I am 81 not 21!  I can't keep up.  Amy would be so ashamed of me, speaking of Amy she hasn't returned any of my calls for at least two weeks.  I have even tried to facebook her, nothing, from what I can see she has updated her statuses a few times though...


Any way life on the ship is okay! I am starting to feel more and more at home, it feels like a little family now! 
I started with the paragraph about the partying because something happened last night.  I know I said I was totally in love with Max (even though he doesn't know it) but I ended up sat in the corner night spot with Noah, I don't know if I have mentioned Noah before? he is something to do with the captain, we all call it Noah's ark, not so funny when you're not doing flaming sambuka's...  To be honest I have never noticed him in a ooo you're a hottie type of way.


Well me and Noah got talking, he told me how his Dad used to do drugs and that is how he ended up working on a ship because he just wanted to get away, he told me how his Mum had left home when he was little because of his Dad's drinking and drug abuse and it hit a nerve, it reminded me of my Mum.  He opened up to me and I just see a new light to him, we have so much in common and I just wanted to scoop him up in my arms and tell him I get what he has gone through, but I couldn't bring myself to talk about my Mum.  He then kissed me.  I was so shocked, I wasn't expecting it at all, I haven't kissed anyone since Jay.  At first I thought oh God but then I realised how much I miss having someone to kiss and snuggle with, I realised how perfect he was for me it felt like the hole Jay had left had finally begun to fill up, it felt like the hole my Mum had left in me started to warm up again.  I've never gone in to much detail about my Mum with you as to me my Dad is my Mum and Dad, but I wasn't even aware of the pain she had left in me until Noah opened up to me.


So.... the kissing wasn't exactly discreet, I think everyone knows about it including Max, felt a bit of a thrill that he'd actually noticed me...  I really don't know what to do, I am now head over heels about two men and on a ship you can't really escape them to try and even get your thoughts straight in your head....


help!